And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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