My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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