hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
