Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
