No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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