So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
