Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
