Can Purell be used as lube?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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