I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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