So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
