I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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