The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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