that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I need to stop coming to work sober
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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