i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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