They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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