Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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