dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
