Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
