"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
