Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i think i just lost a toe
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
