I need help removing her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
