I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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