I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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