We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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