Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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