yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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