But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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