the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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