So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You dont lie about slip and slides
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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