Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
