It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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