Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
