we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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