If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
