i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
