How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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