First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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