yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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