I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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