Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
