i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
