Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
