went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
