it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
