I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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