I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
