just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
