take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
