so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
