I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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