ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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