So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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