Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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