On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
