I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
