haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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