you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
