I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
