Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
