Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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