I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
