Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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